Dear army and bts do i still have the right?

credit to the owner of photo.

While i am fangirling bts i hide and watch them when i am totally alone.i have all the reasons.but i find it so hard that i can’t express my happiness to the whole world. It’s hard when you feel happy and you can’t share it with anyone because you are afraid to be judge.well yes of course i can tell  the whole world “hello  i am “triple s and henecia” “VIP” “blackjack”..but i don’t know why i am so afraid to be an “army”?

For almost a month that i just started, i was really inspired of every songs of bangtan.i am surprise too how much i appreciated their music.i fell inlove with them and their music.every moment is precious watching them and listening to their songs is quite amazing .it keeps me going .i feel more inspired..words are not enough to express how grateful i am now that i know them and stan for them.

I normally write lyrics for a song. But i often hide’s just my way of expressing my feelings. And so i write one for army and bts..this is what i am really feeling right now..

Do i still have the right?

Dear army
I don’t know if i still have the right
To be a part of a huge fandom club
While i am slowly getting crazy
And regrets the past years that i was lazy

Lazy to watch bangtan’s limelight
Do i still have the right
To take a bite?
Do i still have the right
To take army’s ride
Do i still have the right
To stan the big bangtan?

Otteoke! Otteoke!
There ‘s an orchestra of angel playing with my heart .
A1ndwae ! Andwae!
You don’t have the right. My mind keeps nagging my heart.

So dear army
Please endure my presence for a while
Bangtan bangtan i can’t stand
Not to stan

How can i never fall
With their quality songs and savage hyungs
Monster rapper over and over
Sexiness overload and beautiful faces go overboard
Hotness goddess greek
Dancing gracefully to the highest peak.

Dear army
Fangirling is not my stuff
But to resist the feeling is quite tough
So please tell me
I belong i belong
Even if it is wrong
Like a forbidden love
Written on the wall
Tell me i still have the right
So i can sleep well at night

You know why i ask
If i still have the right
Because my age doesn’t seem alright
But was inspired by “young forever” track
“Even when i fall and hurt myself i keep running towards my dream” truck

I am too old to be true
But i don’t give a damn
Age is just a number
When you are happy watching
Bangtan on the jam.

(Dewmi2016-march 06)


He’s back


Seeing again this man is like “living again”.

The feeling is not missing your great love of your life but it is all about missing your inspiration…from the time he had silence in his career for a short period of time and never hear something from him is like “dying”.i can’t even concentrate with my work, don’t have the feeling of going out with friends, having a hard time in every aspect of my is because hyun joong is really my inspiration.his music, his performances, his shows and specially his smile and laugh.

Accept the fact he’s back but there’s something missing on his face. “the angelic smile” that can brightens every fan rainy days.but it’s ok as long as he’s back.

Finally i can smile, i can work and i can enjoy every single moment of my life..all throughout the years of my lifeĀ  i’ve been to a lot of upside downs, thanks to kim hyun joong because i was able to manage myself as a human being.big problems seems to be small and sadness doesn’t exist at all..

I wanna see him absolutely before my hair turns to gray.i do hope as soon as possible.more power hyun joong…God bless you always.

People and friends, they come and go in his life.but a fan like me would never leave him alone, no matter what..

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a letter to kim hyun joong

What in this world i have to tell you? After that BOF times you already conquered my heart.of course i am one of those die hard fans of yours…

Never in my life that i became a “die hard fan” of a superstar.but from the moment i’ve watch you i started became a fan..i love your music, i love the way you act, i love the way you are especially your smile.

Your music makes my day perfectly happy and your performance makes me inspired in everything that i do.sometimes i prefer to stay alone watching your old shows, interviews,concerts and your films the bloopers.and your “crazy” moments with the SS501.

Thank you for being an inspiration..thank you for being a special kind of “boyfriend”(in my dreams of course hahaha)..thank you for all the effort.i am not that lucky to watch you in person coz i am miles away from korea (unless you will come here in italy) but i am hoping one day soon i’ll be there to watch you.

and now that you’re in a moment of life’s upside down i hope letting you know that we will never leave you will at least lessen your burdens.whatever happened, wherever you go i am here (we your fans from all over the world will never leave you)…

Fighting kim hyun joong…God bless you…